Am I tired?
Yes.
I am
tired of transforming
myself,
becoming a better version
of myself.
I'm enough.
I want so badly
a break,
to slow down,
to stop.
And just as much,
I realize
it's not the time.
We've been coming to this for so long
we've been waiting for this moment
the world
has cracked
the old way of life
has collapsed,
you know it
as well as I do.
Nothing
will
ever
be
the same.
The fountain of feminine energy
in men and women
has sputtered
be it due to COVID
the cleansing of Mother Earth
due the isolation of us
humans
who have been parasitising
her.
Whether it's war,
rising gas prices,
everything else
that makes it difficult to travel
outward,
pushing the journey
inward.
Whether it's a trend
or a sincere desire
to explore the beyond,
yoga, retreats, vipassana, detox, tarot, herbs
ancestral wisdom -
it's affecting
everyone
who has the opportunity.
It took us so long
to get up to that speed
that now,
flying down a 45-degree slope
I know that at this altitude,
there is no choice;
it's been made before.
I either make another leap
when your hands and muscles shake
from overstrain,
saliva spurts
through clenched teeth,
you feel pain
in every cell of your body,
but I have to
I have to climb this rock.
Or
I’'ll fall into the crevasse
from this height, the fall is 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘭.
I know
there,
beyond the edge of the cliff,
will be the scenery
I've long dreamed of.
My hands shake,
my spine crunches,
my eyes are blinded by the bright,
scalding sunlight.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴?
There's no time to ponder;
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦.
by us,
together.
I'm flying down the slope
toward the trampoline,
and the long jump is coming up.
I'm either going to close my eyes,
jump
or open them
and enjoy the terrifyingly satisfying
sight.
I know
you are breaking all the shells of yourself
just the same.
Everything is crunching;
the shell is painfully cracked,
a chick is born.
That pain of rebirth,
you,
me,
we
can handle it.
We have paid
for this pleasure
with many test lives before,
the ride is on,
We have begged
for this.